There is much curiosity, apprehension, anxiety and even fear (in that order) in social circles when people learn that a slightly 'older' woman (read a woman over 30 years of age) is expecting a baby. And if that woman is over 35, then the emotional states progress to 'fear' twice as rapidly.
I was subject to seeing such emotional progression among my relatives, friends and well-wishers a couple of years ago when I was expecting my first baby. The primary cause for all this hyper-anxiety usually lies in assumptions about the reproductive health of a first-time-mum-to-be. As a healthy mum-to-be, I responded to the concerns graciously and cordially while telling myself that I needed to focus on doing what was right for the baby rather than (possibly) misplaced notions of potential harm.
I found, instead, and rather pleasantly, that there are several advantages to being an 'older' first-time-mum.
#1 Caring partner - check. Stable marriage - check. Stable finances - check. Career achievements - check. Mental preparedness - check.
As a first-time-mum-to-be, who was well into her thirties, I had had the chance to organise my life sufficiently before bringing a baby into my world. I was mentally ready for motherhood (of course, nothing can ever completely prepare you for the onslaught of motherhood for the first time, but I knew fully what I was getting into). Thus, using some down-time from work did not feel overbearing or excessive when the baby came. Younger mums do not usually get that opportunity.
#2 Healthy Mum = Healthy Baby
Having had the convenience of prep time before conceiving, I had read up sufficiently to know 'what to expect' (pun intended!), I followed scientific and traditional advice optimally to stay healthy, whether through diet, exercise or spirituality, throughout the pregnancy. I know several younger mums who simply did not know enough to take care of themselves during those critical nine months, leading to the early onset of health problems after delivery, and in some cases, weaker babies too.
#3 To believe or not to believe, that is the question
A pregnant woman receives advice from all and sundry. And a first-time-mum even more so. As an 'older' mum, I had matured beyond the gullible years of my life to take it all with a pinch of salt. I could apply my own knowledge from scientific study, logic from traditional wisdom, and common sense from having watched other mums to decide what would work for me and my baby or not. Equally, I was less prone to influence from well-meaning relatives and non-relatives because I could defend my position more authoritatively than a younger mum might have done.
#4 Organisational ability - a new mum's best friend
Having had several years of work experience on my side, organising things, tasks and support systems came easily to me. The confidence of being able to manage the household while still being at the beck and call of a newborn was invaluable in those early months after delivery. I like to think that my husband and I brought the baby into our life rather than making the baby the focus of our lives.
#5 What a pleasant surprise!
Being an older mum has had some unintended and pleasant consequences too. People who see me with my toddler assume that I'm much younger than I actually am! Turning this happy consequence on its head, having a little one around keeps me younger, more energetic and more active too.
Here's to older mums - Cheers!
PS: I've also just learnt that the older the mum is, the taller her children are likely to be. And also that the older the mum, the longer she will live! How's that for some trivia?!
I was subject to seeing such emotional progression among my relatives, friends and well-wishers a couple of years ago when I was expecting my first baby. The primary cause for all this hyper-anxiety usually lies in assumptions about the reproductive health of a first-time-mum-to-be. As a healthy mum-to-be, I responded to the concerns graciously and cordially while telling myself that I needed to focus on doing what was right for the baby rather than (possibly) misplaced notions of potential harm.
I found, instead, and rather pleasantly, that there are several advantages to being an 'older' first-time-mum.
#1 Caring partner - check. Stable marriage - check. Stable finances - check. Career achievements - check. Mental preparedness - check.
As a first-time-mum-to-be, who was well into her thirties, I had had the chance to organise my life sufficiently before bringing a baby into my world. I was mentally ready for motherhood (of course, nothing can ever completely prepare you for the onslaught of motherhood for the first time, but I knew fully what I was getting into). Thus, using some down-time from work did not feel overbearing or excessive when the baby came. Younger mums do not usually get that opportunity.
#2 Healthy Mum = Healthy Baby
Having had the convenience of prep time before conceiving, I had read up sufficiently to know 'what to expect' (pun intended!), I followed scientific and traditional advice optimally to stay healthy, whether through diet, exercise or spirituality, throughout the pregnancy. I know several younger mums who simply did not know enough to take care of themselves during those critical nine months, leading to the early onset of health problems after delivery, and in some cases, weaker babies too.
#3 To believe or not to believe, that is the question
A pregnant woman receives advice from all and sundry. And a first-time-mum even more so. As an 'older' mum, I had matured beyond the gullible years of my life to take it all with a pinch of salt. I could apply my own knowledge from scientific study, logic from traditional wisdom, and common sense from having watched other mums to decide what would work for me and my baby or not. Equally, I was less prone to influence from well-meaning relatives and non-relatives because I could defend my position more authoritatively than a younger mum might have done.
#4 Organisational ability - a new mum's best friend
Having had several years of work experience on my side, organising things, tasks and support systems came easily to me. The confidence of being able to manage the household while still being at the beck and call of a newborn was invaluable in those early months after delivery. I like to think that my husband and I brought the baby into our life rather than making the baby the focus of our lives.
#5 What a pleasant surprise!
Being an older mum has had some unintended and pleasant consequences too. People who see me with my toddler assume that I'm much younger than I actually am! Turning this happy consequence on its head, having a little one around keeps me younger, more energetic and more active too.
Here's to older mums - Cheers!
PS: I've also just learnt that the older the mum is, the taller her children are likely to be. And also that the older the mum, the longer she will live! How's that for some trivia?!
