"How are you doing?"
"Getting on, " I replied, to a friend's innocent casual query. He raised an eyebrow quizzically. "You are not even two-thirds my age, you know, why so precocious? Don't be in a hurry to grow up. :-)"
I realised once again how much more I still have to learn about the English language, about the world around me, about life, about living. Another birthday just went by. I stopped counting the years once the candles went beyond 18! Remember Bryan Adams' inpiring rendition - "18 till I die?" That was my motto for a long time... still is, in many ways. But there are good things about growing older. And note, I say 'growing older', not 'growing old'!
Once one is past one’s 21st birthday, the change of digits in the units place doesn’t matter too much until the 25th birthday and after that, even the change of the digits in the tens place doesn’t matter so much until the 40th birthday. Do I, then, claim to have the experience and wisdom of a 40-year old? (I’m on the wrong side of 25 but not that far gone yet!)
No, some philosophy from a random blogger is not always a candidate for a prize-winning manuscript on human experiences and behaviour. But I have learned a few things that are likely to remain with me for some time to come.
On work
(because I’ve started feeling only recently that I’m officially a part of the global workforce, not distracted by educational pursuits, familial obligations, and/ or pathological relationships)
I’ve learned
... that first impressions, especially of a colleague, will inevitably not be my last. On so many occasions in these past months, I’ve been surprised at the revelation of different sides of personalities – luckily, the surprise has been pleasant most times.
... that you are new in a job only as long as your first day.
... that the onus of setting expectations lies on you ... at all times.
... that you can never be over-prepared for a meeting.
... that, at the end of the day, face-time does translate into brownie points; literally, because it means you party with your team till late in the night.
... that a colleague who feels (s)he is not rewarded justly (vis-à-vis you) can teach you a lot about competition.
... that work can only be as much fun as the workplace; as a corollary, a fun workplace can make most types of work fun too.
... that seniority and subordination are attached neither to your title nor to your years of experience, but to the level of confidence with which you do and exhibit your work.
... that just doing a job well is not enough; you must show it off!
... that you must speak up if you have a good idea because your boss does not know everything; in fact, (s) he could be waiting to be educated by you.
... that having a vocation will always be extremely important for me…
On family
I’ve learned
... that no matter what, my family will be the dearest people on earth for me.
... that I would consider my life well-spent if I could make and keep them happy.
... that in my moments of deepest despair, I only need them to believe in me, and just that would help me stand up again.
... that if I talk about them for longer than a few minutes, then I will certainly be overcome by emotion.
So, let’s switch to another topic!
On friends
I’ve learned
... that, clichéd as it may be, a genuine friendship will stand the test of time. I know that I could pick up the phone and call some people to talk about things nearest to my heart and be warmly received even when I haven’t spoken with them in years.
... that one of the greatest riches I’ve gained in all my years is my friends. A life without at least one deposit in the friendship bank would be the poorest life on earth, indeed.
... that some people can only be your friends, not siblings, lovers, parent-figures or mentors… Thank God for that! Life would be less colourful if they signed up for another role.
... that I may not be able to live with the friends that I think I could never live without. Funny, huh?!
On cooking, eating, driving, swimming, climbing a tree, sleeping, talking, dancing
Some things are essential know-hows for life, in general,… and some others for me , in particular
I’ve learned
... that I’m glad I can cook and that I’d be glad to help anyone learn how to. I’d have the satisfaction of having imparted one of the most critical skills of modern living to a human being.
... that I’m glad I’m not fussy about food. It not only allows me to survive just fine in a new place but also helps me to build a rapport and relationship with my hosts in a foreign land.
... that it’s not enough for me to know how to drive to save my life; that I must also know enough to save another’s life.
... that swimming and climbing a tree are not just a useful exercise regimen but also critical techniques for survival in an emergency. I will be pursuing at least one diligently this year… no points for guessing which!
... that I still have to learn to fall asleep when the situation demands. Shuttling across time-zones on a bi-weekly basis and too many red-eye flights are not going to help my sleep cycle.
... that I could not spend more than a day without talking to a real human being for at least ten minutes. And no, voicemails and recorded messages will not help.
... that I still harbour a little girl’s dream to become a full-time dancer sometime in my life.
On love
... that beautiful, pure, calm, secure, generous emotion called “love”... umm ...
I’ve learned
... that you can't hurry love; and when it happens, you can't stop it.
... that you can't force someone to love you; equally, you can't stop someone from loving you.
... that when you love someone, it shows ...
... that love is uplifting. Why, then, is it called "falling" in love?
I've realised... that I’m ready to rise to love.
************************************************************************************
"Woh dariya hi kya jis mein na ho ravaani,
Agar josh na ho, to kis kaam ki hai yeh jawaani?!"
[What good is a stream that doesn't flow with abandon? What good is youth if it is not stirred by undiluted passion?]
