Bridges from the Past

Last week was atypical in so many ways, not least because I was in a foreign land. Foreign, but not unfamiliar by any means. I had the wonderfully nostalgic and refreshing opportunity to attend the 20-year Reunion of my MBA cohort, at the University of Oxford.  

With each person that I met again, many literally after 20 years, I thought of what had changed in the time that had passed. Time's a funny thing, isn't it? Like a trickster, it can play with our minds. It's like magic!

Sometimes, you can spend years with someone and still feel like strangers. And then, there are those times when you meet someone and it's like you've known them forever. You can see someone every day and still feel like you're miles apart. But you can meet someone after years and it's like no time has passed.

The top three questions that came up in all initial conversations were: #1 what do you do now and what's been the journey, in terms of locations and vocations, over 20 years? #2 how many kids do you have and how old are they? #3 when was the last time you were in Oxford?

#2 and #3 were a matter of fact. What struck me was the diversity in the stories I heard in response to #1. Of course, this was to be expected simply given how diverse we had been as a class, 170 people from 47 countries, almost a third of whom had made it for this occasion. It was by far one of the most talented, fiercely driven, and brightest groups of people I've ever been amongst. So it was understandable that many had risen to the top of their chosen professions, while some had changed their vocations completely, yet achieved measurable success. Overall, it spelt a certain sense of equilibrium as far as a professional identity was concerned.

But I was most intrigued by the stories where people had taken a pause in their careers, or veered off the beaten path, or decided that they needed more change before settling down into stability. And this got me thinking about why, in this day and age of knowledge work, technologically well-supported at that, one feels compelled to appear 'occupied', 'engaged', 'busy', and constantly 'in the middle of something'.

A lot of people I talk to feel bad about taking it easy. They think they're lazy if they're not always busy. They don't like to relax, be alone, or just sit around. I get it, I've been there. In fact, I probably still am there!

For a long time, I needed other people to tell me I was doing a good job. I didn't take the time to figure out who I am, what I want, and what I need. Was I just trying to do what everyone else wanted me to do? Perhaps, I needed to look inside myself and ask what makes me happy and fulfilled, what makes my work meaningful to me.

Of late, I've begun to see how important it is to slow down and spend time by myself. I'm realising that the energy you have, whom you share it with, and how you expend it, are far more important than time. Every relationship, whether it is work or personal, is about exchanging energy in different ways. You can't tap into your energy and trust your gut unless you quiet things down, be still, and listen to yourself. You also need to get rid of old, negative beliefs. The ones that make you scared, judge yourself, and hold yourself back from being your best self. Soul-searching takes time...

And that's been the biggest takeaway from that magical Reunion Weekend in Oxford. As I progress through this sabbatical exploring, experimenting with, and evaluating different ideas, I realise that the path to the future is going to emerge from the interweaving of several threads from the past.