Why I feel lucky to be an 'older' first-time mum

There is much curiosity, apprehension, anxiety and even fear (in that order) in social circles when people learn that a slightly 'older' woman (read a woman over 30 years of age) is expecting a baby. And if that woman is over 35, then the emotional states progress to 'fear' twice as rapidly.

I was subject to seeing such emotional progression among my relatives, friends and well-wishers a couple of years ago when I was expecting my first baby. The primary cause for all this hyper-anxiety usually lies in assumptions about the reproductive health of a first-time-mum-to-be. As a healthy mum-to-be, I responded to the concerns graciously and cordially while telling myself that I needed to focus on doing what was right for the baby rather than (possibly) misplaced notions of potential harm.

I found, instead, and rather pleasantly, that there are several advantages to being an 'older' first-time-mum.

#1 Caring partner - check. Stable marriage - check. Stable finances - check. Career achievements - check. Mental preparedness - check. 
As a first-time-mum-to-be, who was well into her thirties, I had had the chance to organise my life sufficiently before bringing a baby into my world. I was mentally ready for motherhood (of course, nothing can ever completely prepare you for the onslaught of motherhood for the first time, but I knew fully what I was getting into). Thus, using some down-time from work did not feel overbearing or excessive when the baby came. Younger mums do not usually get that opportunity.

#2 Healthy Mum = Healthy Baby
Having had the convenience of prep time before conceiving, I had read up sufficiently to know 'what to expect' (pun intended!), I followed scientific and traditional advice optimally to stay healthy, whether through diet, exercise or spirituality, throughout the pregnancy. I know several younger mums who simply did not know enough to take care of themselves during those critical nine months, leading to the early onset of health problems after delivery, and in some cases, weaker babies too.

#3 To believe or not to believe, that is the question
A pregnant woman receives advice from all and sundry. And a first-time-mum even more so. As an 'older' mum, I had matured beyond the gullible years of my life to take it all with a pinch of salt. I could apply my own knowledge from scientific study, logic from traditional wisdom, and common sense from having watched other mums to decide what would work for me and my baby or not. Equally, I was less prone to influence from well-meaning relatives and non-relatives because I could defend my position more authoritatively than a younger mum might have done.

#4 Organisational ability - a new mum's best friend
Having had several years of work experience on my side, organising things, tasks and support systems came easily to me. The confidence of being able to manage the household while still being at the beck and call of a newborn was invaluable in those early months after delivery. I like to think that my husband and I brought the baby into our life rather than making the baby the focus of our lives.

#5 What a pleasant surprise!
Being an older mum has had some unintended and pleasant consequences too. People who see me with my toddler assume that I'm much younger than I actually am! Turning this happy consequence on its head, having a little one around keeps me younger, more energetic and more active too.

Here's to older mums - Cheers!

PS: I've also just learnt that the older the mum is, the taller her children are likely to be. And also that the older the mum, the longer she will live! How's that for some trivia?!

For the Love of Travel

My 38-day old niece just got named. I'm sharing the letter I wrote to her on this day.

Dear M,

Congratulations! You have your own name now! I’d like to think that I had something to do with your being given this name - I was the one who first suggested it to your Mum. You may not understand everything that I am saying in this letter now but I am requesting your Mum to explain it to you when you are old enough. Till then, I am also asking her to keep it safe to give it to you later.

Along with a new name, you will receive many things today – countless blessings, new clothes, toys and other goodies. Your Uncle and I thought hard about what I should give you…We recollected the joy we had felt on the 11^th of July 2016 when we got to know that our nephew has a baby sister. You are a precious little girl because you are the first girl to be born in the family among all boys in your generation. Girls make a family complete. So we were thrilled when your GrandPa announced to us that your Mum had delivered a baby girl that day. You are a special girl and we wanted to give you something special today – the gift we want to give you is a love for travel. 

Great men and women have said great things about what makes travel important for life. Someday I will tell you how travelling changed my life. But today I want to share with you five reasons that you should travel when you grow up.

#1 There is no teacher like travel because it lets you experience things first hand. When you travel, you will learn about new places, different cultures, people, language, food and lifestyle. Travel will give you a new perspective on why people behave in a certain way, how various problems can be solved, and how you can make your life better, easier and happier.

#2 Travel will help you to appreciate differences and diversity. When you meet people from a different culture, you learn to understand the reason for their differences, which may be a result of their history, location or surroundings. When you appreciate such differences with an open mind, you make yourself more likeable to the new people you meet. Travel will also help you to appreciate your own culture. You will value what you learn from your family, village, city, state and country more when you can relate it to other cultures. It will help you understand yourself better too – your likes, dislikes, your ability to change, your tolerance to be patient, you attitude towards taking risks, and your openness to enjoyment too.

#3 Through travel you will get to make new friends in different parts of the world. It will help to improve your social skills even when there may be barriers of language and culture. It will make you realise how people around the world are more same in many ways than they are different. It will give you memories for life.

#4 Travel will give you a sense of adventure. It will teach you about dangers of being in a strange land in the midst of unknown people and about taking measured risks. It will make you resourceful and flexible. It will help you to deal with change rather than avoid it. It will make you less fearful in tough situations.

#5 Finally, travel will teach you the value of money. It will show you how money is extremely important in life but also that the quality of your experience and what you learn from it matter more.

When you come of age, you will reach a phase in your life when you will want to explore the world on your own terms. At that time, I want you to know that your Uncle and I will be there to help you with your dreams.

And so, little M, we have set aside today a small investment, which will grow as you grow into a confident young lady. It will be a resource for you to draw upon for your travelling adventures, with friends or family or (perhaps) even alone. We are holding the investment for you in trust until you turn 18 but we want you to know that you will be entitled to it completely. We hope you have many enjoyable, memorable travels.

We wish you a long, happy, healthy life!

Yours lovingly,

----